Blog contributor #1.

"wanna hear a really disturbing story about mind control?

surrre

okay. so its called neuro linguistic programming, or NLP. the majority of research done in the 70s. well some sick guys have used it in stuff they later coined "forbidden method"

its conditioning someone to react a certain way to a trained command. and this guy would immediately after sleeping with this chick...say something to drop her pleasure into fear. like; he'd point at the door and say "What would it be like if I just up and walked out the door, slammed it, and you could never open it again." of course which would upset her, and then he'd raise her back up by cuddling and being sweet.

Then once she was calm and feeling all warm n fuzzy again. He'd tell another terrible story. Again involving the door getting slammed like, he walks out, slams the door, and then later is hit by a bus and she never gets to see him again.

so this guy anchored feelings of terror and fear of loss of those warm fuzzy feelings with the door getting slammed. and put the last nail in the conditioning, by getting up, going to the bathroom and slamming the door... and reportedly, since then, all he does is direct her attention to a door, and it makes her, i dunno. immediately stop doing something he didn't like

tell me thats not some really sinister stuff

 wow. 
i dig it. 
that's what you're contributing to my blog. thanks.

lol.
no problem. its a story thats been haunting me since i read it the other day."


-Caleb Countryman.
at: http://www.crashedgates.blogspot.com/

My blog hit over 10,000 pageviews today. :]

Melodie Fay "Puff" Sexton

I wanted to post this because it is a terrible loss. From the first instant I ever saw her, I honestly thought she had to be the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my entire life. I saw her walking back from lunch one day in high school. She was sitting outside reading "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" which I bought not long after. Now-- that was years and years ago. I just now, a few months ago, got around to actually reading the book. It's such a strange thing. So strange. I remember, a few days later after seeing her, and my cousin, Ryan, told me she thought I was a lesbian or something because he told her how beautiful I thought she was and I didn't mind. Seriously. She is stunning. I'm not the only one who thought that. Hearing of her death is so terrible to me. She has a three year old son.

If there's anyone reading this; please donate money to her son.

I just cannot believe it. I really can't. I wish I had known her at all. The only thing I have ever known of her is knowing her beauty. And maybe that's all I could have wished for. God knows I would not have been able to be able to handle her death beyond that. I am so sorry for her family and her friends and especially her son. I cannot imagine the loss. Rest peacefully, Melodie, I know you were loved by so many and admired by even more.

sometimes the types of decisions i have to make are as simple as:

shower or bath?
should i go drink beers with my friends or no?
cold pizza or re heated pizza? with ranch or no?
side braid or librarian bun?

and to these questions today i choose:
shower,
yes,
reheated with ranch
and side braid probably. who knows.
i do what i want, bitch!

love her.

that's the most beautiful braid i've ever seen.

dear andy,
you're beautiful to me.

if that's the case, i've had one. and yes. it is too painful.

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

what you were then, i am today. look at the things i do.

i finally understand you.

i am a good person.

just so you know.
run and tell that to my roommates.

I met a priest today.

He told me to go to Rome and stand in front of St. Peter's basilica and get the "willies".

"I can't wait," I told him.

"Oh you just have to, you just have to" he said.

I was just sitting there thinking-- you have no idea how ready I am, and I'm not going into such detail with you about just how badly I want to travel and just up and leave.

He asked what I do and I said "I go to school for art," and he said "that's just fabulous," and I said, "yeah... it really is."

He was the only one "dining" at the time-- at Colichia's-- and I was standing at the hostess stand having a really nice conversation with him. He said he doesn't go out to dinner to eat, but rather to dine-- and that there most certainly is a difference.

I agreed.

He talked about going to school in Rome to become a priest and mostly about how there you dine and the waiter rushes about and you have to chase after them for your ticket-- and that there isn't a huge fuss about being entertained or spoiled by your waiter. I told him how hard it is when customers just don't understand how much a waiter has going on. He explained that he always tells a waiter to not fuss over him because he is in no rush-- but if given the chance he would want to talk to you-- or not at all.

He said, that being a priest, there's a lot of talking and catching up with various people and families and sometimes it's just so nice to sit down by yourself and enjoy a meal without a word-- and he said he also enjoys someone who can just sit and enjoy a meal and each others' company. He said sometimes people want to have such serious conversations at dinner and it's just nice when it doesn't have to be that way.

I agreed.

He said that when he went to school to become a priest, that he actually wanted to know what he was talking about-- that he actually paid attention. I told him how much I loved school.

He had two glasses ( I believe) of white wine, salad and an entree. He talked a lot with Alexa who is about to burst-- she is due in 23 days... the countdown has begun. I've heard her say the same schpeal about her first pregnancy and this one--probably a hundred times. I hear a lot from that hostess stand.

Any how, the priest, Steve, said that he lives in the "hood". He got the job there because he can speak Spanish-- because the priest above him said that he desperately needed someone who could speak Spanish. He threw Spanish in regularly in our conversation. I acted as though I wasn't phased at all. Just a polite smile for such a nice conversation.

I think that's the first priest I've ever spoken to-- aside from the Catholic Priest-turned- Buddhist Monk at Buu Mon Temple right down the road from Priest Steve.

 He would often look off to the side and down in thought and he said "I think I buried Miss Colichia, you know, Scott's Mom... I'm pretty sure I did. I'm going to have to go back and look."

"Oh my goodness it's ten fifteen. I know y'all are tired. I'm going to have to get out of your hair."

"It's okay sir, we're here anyhow and it's just such a pleasure talking to you" said Jason.

It was a nice end to the night.

i imagine you, in your travels, thinking about me...

"I wish you could have been there for the sun & the rain & the long, hard hills. For the sound of a thousand conversations scattered along the road. For the people laughing & crying & remembering at the end. But, mainly, I wish you could have been there."--Brian Andreas.


i constantly read and see things that make me think of you and foolishly, vainly, and wishfully assume that you do the same...
i plant you in situations, conversations, nighttime dreams... 
i know it's just a fantasy...
but regardless... i still think of you constantly.


and the only thing i get in return is absolute silence.